If I could, I would kick my own ass

An hour ago, neither of my children were sleeping. 3 pm is usually deep into nap territory, but not today.

I had plans: cook for shabbat, make soup for dinner, possibly shower.* You know, plans.

It is utterly my own fault that neither of my children were sleeping because I am so stupid.

At 2pm, Miss M was drifting off (but not, as I thought, asleep). AM needed to nurse and head to dreamland himself, after I changed his diaper. Alas, all of the diapers were in with Miss M; usually 1 or 2 are floating about the house, in a diaper bag or sling pocket or camped on my dresser, but not today.

So I crept into Miss M's room rather than let AM go another 2 hours in a semi-wet diaper. I hadn't changed him in a few hours, so I was feeling guilty.

I chose unwisely.

Then came 45 minutes of cajoling, bribing, and silent seething. (At least AM nursed to sleep in a lull in the action.**) Adding fuel to the fires of my idiocy, I then told her if she didn't take a nap she couldn't watch any tv or videos for the rest of the day. Excuse me? Yes, that's right. An extra two hours of her being increasingly cranky, wild, and obnoxious and no electronic distraction for anyone.***

There's been a lot of yelling.

Bedtime can't come soon enough.

Help.

* It hasn't been my best personal hygiene week.

** He woke up after only 45 minutes, which is not enough to prevent him from being a basket case in the 5pm-8pm range. If Miss M had been sleeping, I would have scooped him up and nursed him to sleep again.

*** I just decided I am going to watch the 5:00 news. Inconsistency can't possibly be the worst parenting I have exhibited today. Apparently the worst parenting was how I dressed Miss M for school today. Her teacher chided me twice for her outerwear (a sweatshirt and light-medium weight winter coat and mittens--what she wore in the snow last week for hours). When I asked if she said she was cold, the answer was no, "but we go outside for half an hour." Oh, bite me.