How NOT to start your week

1. In an enormous, cold puddle of pee.*
2. Ten minutes later, listening to a hysterical toddler's daily pre-dawn primal scream ritual.
3. With the knowledge that your sainted spouse, who dealt with both the pisher and the shrieker, is leaving the next day for a 72-hour business trip.

*The pisher did go right back to sleep, without nursing, but has since gotten up, eaten, and spit up on my (formerly clean) skirt. Stupidly, I had already dressed, forgetting that he had pooped on another skirt yesterday. Laundry, anyone?