I may be sleep deprived, but I'm not stupid

Warning, vent ahead.

In my life I've owned a lot of clothes from the Gap and Old Navy. I am a casual kind of person. I like denim. I like cotton. I like clothes that don't have to be dry cleaned. I dress Miss M in a lot of (sale priced) babyGap.

But SERIOUSLY! Do I look illiterate?

I went to return a gift of Miss M's for $18.49 worth of store credit, to be spent when she outgrows her 18-24 month clothes. Gap was heavily advertising their new petite and tall sizes. Being a petite size, I was vaguely interested. I admit I was sucked into their little poster that said, "Sign up on-line to receive e-mail updates! Coupon and free shipping from gap.com!"

So I signed up, using my "extra" hotmail account left over from my single days...where all the junk mail goes. I got a nice chatty email from Gap customer service, explaining that the coupon was not a coupon for a discount but for free shipping from gap.com...for purchases of $100 or more. Cripes. I never spend that much at the Gap at once. Maybe in three trips. Or four, if the sale racks are particularly good to me.

But it gets better! The coupon for free shipping expired on 12/31/05. When did I receive the super-mysterious coupon code? 1/16/06. Did they expect me to go back in time to use such a bargain? I fired off an email back to customer service asking something to that effect, but to no avail. Potentially because I was using my super-snarky voice. But SERIOUSLY!!!!

Then there was the Old Navy fiasco. Two years ago I bought some maternity clothes from them, and I was hoping to just add a skirt or two to my (very boring) wardrobe. So a couple of observations from the Old Navy maternity section...

1. Umm, design department? Weird shades of brown and tan are NOT the new black. There is a reason why women, at their most oddly shaped and vulnerable, body-wise, like black. It doesn't matter that spring is eight weeks away. WHERE IS THE BLACK?
2. I don't want jeans that ignore the fact I am pregnant. I WANT OVERALLS! Comfort over style. I couldn't find overalls that fit during my first pregnancy either...getting annoyed here.
3. I would be out of my mind to think about plunking down $34.50 for a skirt that already makes my ass look big. I am only 29 weeks along, and I know from experience I am only going to get bigger. Buy my pre-pregnancy size indeed.

I would be much more coherent if Miss M had been sleeping better, but around here you take what you get.

Rant over....